Marriage Humor

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
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Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives!
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A man, who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man, who surrenders when not sure, is Wise. A man, who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.
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If u r married please ignore this msg., for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
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Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai? Take vo Marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare.
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Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ? To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead!
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Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
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There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.