Monday, December 14, 2009

Use following points for picking up the stocks

1. Develop and rely on your own investment philosophy, criteria andmethod(s).
2. Develop and test your own personal system for selecting, buyingand selling.
3. Wait until your entry criteria are fully satisfied beforeinvesting. When your criteria are not yet fully satisfied, refuse toenter into the investment.
4. Be patient waiting for investments that fully satisfy your criteria.
5. Search only for investments that meet your criteria and do socontinuously. Accept only advice from experts you respect and ignore opinions of others.
6. Act instantly to enter an investment when you find one that fullysatisfies your criteria.
7. Hold your investment until your predetermined exit criteria isfully satisfied.
8. Consistently follow your investment philosophy, criteria and method(s). Don't hesitate or second-guess yourself.
9. Get out of investments entered into by mistake as soon as you notice the mistake.
Quotes:
Remember the First Law of Economics: For every economist, there is anequal and opposite economist--so for every bullish economist, there isa bearish one. The Second Law of Economics: They are both likely to bewrong.
by William Sherden
The best conditions for buying a stock are when it's unpopular, it'scheap, there's limited downside, it's relatively undiscovered, youunderstand the company and its business better than other investorsdo, and company management is incentivized to build shareholder value.
:by Tom Murcko
General Term
Book value :A company's common stock equity as it appears on a balance sheet,equal to total assets minus liabilities, preferred stock, andintangible assets such as goodwill. This is how much the company wouldhave left over in assets if it went out of business immediately. Since companies are usually expected to grow and generate more profits inthe future, market capitalization is higher than book value for most companies. Since book value is a more accurate measure of valuationfor companies which aren't growing quickly, book value is of moreinterest to value investors than growth investors.

Definition 2
The value of an asset as it appears on a balance sheet, equal to costminus accumulated depreciation.

NRB allows multi-national banks to open branch in Nepal

Nepal's central bank, Nepal Rastra Bank (NRB), has introduced apolicy to allow international banks to open their branches in Nepalfor wholesale banking starting January 1, 2010, in line with theprovisions of World Trade Centre (WTO) membership. NRB has also set the criteria for banks which want to open theirbranches in Nepal in its policy announced on Sunday. Nepal hadcommitted to open its market for international banks from 2010 when ittook the WTO membership.According to the criteria set by NRB, the banks opening branches inNepal should do so with a minimum capital of USD 30 million and anadditional USD 5 million for each additional branch.Likewise, such banks cannot accept deposits less than Rs 100 millionand issue credit of less than Rs 300 million and can invest only inlarge business sectors including hydro-power, aviation, tourism andrailway.Contrary to popular speculation that international banks would throngto the Nepali market from 2010, none of the banks have applied for itso far. NRB officials said, the banks might not have applied due tolack of proper regulation so far.Although, opening of branches of international banks in Nepal willnot affect the general public directly, bankers say, it will help thenation's economy by creating more employment opportunities and helpinglarge infrastructure projects.
from nepalnews.com

Investment in realty dangerous: Experts

The investment of banks and finance companies in the real estatesector carries the risk of collapse, economists and bankers said. Hugeinvestment can create havoc, they said in an interaction here today.The global economic crisis of 2008 started with the fall in realestate business in the US.Nepali banks and finance companies have invested billions of rupees, approximately Rs 50 billion in the real estate sector. Half a dozenbanks and a dozen finance companies have invested 30 per cent in thesector. "It is not a safe investment," said Dr Binod Atreya, chiefexecutive officer of Nepal Bank Ltd. "Large investment in a sector isnot good."However, economist Prof Dr Madan Dahal differed. "I don't think theproblem is near," he said, "Banks are taking risk for maximumbenefit." Real estate business in Kathmandu Valley and the Terai hasboomed by 200 per cent since 2007.Nepal Rastra Bank executive director Trilochan Pangeni refused totake action against the finance companies for investing large amountsin the real estate sector. "We cannot stop the investment because itis as per existing laws," he said, According to Pangeni, the fate ofNepali financial sector has already gone into the hands of real estatebusiness. "If real estate collapses, bank and finance companies willbe in crisis," he said. But he did not feel the fall would bankruptthe financial sector. Very few will be affected, he added.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Eat Less Rice!

The human body was never meant to consume rice! You see, our genes have hardly changed in more than 30,000 years. However, our food choices and lifestyle have changed dramatically. The caveman would hardly recognize our food or way of life. Caveman food was never cooked as fire was not yet tamed. Thus, he ate only those foods that you can eat without treatment with or by fire. He ate fruits, vegetables, fish (sushi anyone?), eggs, nuts and meat.. Yes, even meat! You can even eat meat raw if you were starving in the forest. You have the necessary enzymes to digest meat. However, rice, like wheat and corn, cannot be eaten raw. It must be cooked. Even if you were starving in the desert, you cannot eat rice in the raw form. This is because we do not have the system of enzymes to break rice down. You were never meant to eat rice. To make matters worse, you not only eat rice, but also make it the bulk of your food. In some parts of Asia, rice forms up to 85% of the plate. Even if you take rice, keep it to a minimum. Remember, it is only for your tongue - not your body. Actually, rice and other grains like wheat and corn are actually worse than sugar. There are many reasons:

Rice becomes sugar - lots of it! This is a fact that no nutritionist can deny: rice is chemically no different from sugar. One bowl of cooked rice is the caloric equal of 10 teaspoons of sugar. This does not matter whether it is white, brown or herbal rice. Brown rice is richer in fibre, some B vitamins and minerals but it is still the caloric equal of 10 teaspoons of sugar. To get the same 10 teaspoons of sugar, you need to consume lots of kangkong-10 bowls of it.

Rice is digested to become sugar. Rice cannot be digested before it is thoroughly cooked. However, when thoroughly cooked, it becomes sugar and spikes circulating blood sugar within half an hour-almost as quickly as it would if you took a sugar candy. Rice is very low in the 'rainbow of anti-oxidants. ' This complete anti-oxidant rainbow is necessary for the effective and safe utilization of sugar. Fruits come with a sugar called fructose. However, they are not empty calories as the fruit is packed with a whole host of other nutrients that help its proper assimilation and digestion.

Rice has no fibre. The fibre of the kangkong fills you up long before your blood sugar spikes. This is because the fibre bulks and fills up your stomach. Since white rice has no fibre, you end up eating lots of 'calorie dense' food before you get filled up. Brown rice has more fibre but still the same amount of sugar.

Rice is tasteless-sugar is sweet. There is only so much that you can eat at one sitting. How many teaspoons of sugar can you eat before you feel like throwing up? Could you imagine eating 10 teaspoons of sugar in one seating?

Rice is always the main part of the meal. While sugar may fill your dessert or sweeten your coffee, it will never be the main part of any meal. You could eat maybe two to three teaspoons of sugar at one meal. However, you could easily eat the equal value of two to three bowls (20-30 teaspoons) of sugar in one meal. I am always amused when I see someone eat sometimes five bowls of rice (equals 50 teaspoons of sugar) and then asks for tea tarik kurang manis!

There is no real 'built in' mechanism for us to prevent overeating of rice: How much kangkong can you eat? How much fried chicken can you eat? How much steamed fish can you eat? Think about that!

In one seating, you cannot take lots of chicken, fish or cucumber, but you can take lots of rice. Eating rice causes you to eat more salt. As rice is tasteless, you tend to consume more salt-another villain when it comes to high blood pressure. You tend to take more curry that has salt to help flavor rice. We also tend to consume more ketchup and soy sauce which are also rich in salt.

Eating rice causes you to drink less water.. The more rice you eat, the less water you will drink as there is no mechanism to prevent the overeating of rice. Rice, wheat and corn come hidden in our daily food. As rice is tasteless, it tends to end up in other foods that substitute rice like rice flour, noodles and bread. We tend to eat the hidden forms which still get digested into sugar. Rice, even when cooked, is difficult to digest. Can't eat raw rice? Try eating rice half cooked. Contrary to popular belief, rice is very difficult to digest. It is 'heavy stuff'. If you have problems with digestion, try skipping rice for a few days. You will be amazed at how the problem will just go away. Rice prevents the absorption of several vitamins and minerals. Rice when taken in bulk will reduce the absorption of vital nutrients like zinc, iron and the B vitamins. Are you a rice addict? Going rice-less may not be easy but you can go rice-less. Eating less rice could be lot easier than you think.

Here are some strategies that you can pursue in your quest to eat less rice:
Eat less rice-cut your rice by half. Barry Sears, author of the Zone Diet, advises 'eating rice like spice'. Instead, increase your fruits and vegetables.

Take more lean meats and fish.. You can even take more eggs and nuts.

Have 'riceless' meals.

Take no rice or wheat at say, breakfast..

Go for eggs instead.

Go on 'riceless' days.

Go 'western' once a week.

Take no rice and breads for one day every week. That can't be too difficult. Appreciate the richness of your food.

Go for taste, colours and smells.

Make eating a culinary delight.

Enjoy your food in the original flavours.

Avoid the salt shaker or ketchup. You will automatically eat less rice.

Eat your fruit dessert before (Yes! No printing error) your meals.

The fibre rich fruits will 'bulk up' in your stomach.

Thus, you will eat less rice and more fruits

Friday, September 11, 2009

A CURE FOR DIABETES

While searching the net i have found some care measure of Diabetes which i have going to share

INGREDIENTS

100 grams Wheat Flour
100 grams Natural Gum {Goondh}
100 grams Barley
100 grams Black Seeds {Kalunji}

METHOD OF PREPARATION

Put all the ingredients in 5 cups of water.
Boil the mixture for 10 minutes.
Allow it to cool down.
Once cold, filter out the seeds and residue.
Preserve the water in a glass jug or bottle.


HOW TO USE IT

Take a small cupful of this liquid every morning on an empty stomach.
Continue for 7 days.
The following week repeat the same but take on alternate days.
With this 2 week treatment your insulin level should go back to normal, be free of this disease and enjoy any food you wish.

Before enjoying any food for diabetes you must consult to your doctors.

Dividend Implications for companies

Some studies, however, have demonstrated that companies that paydividends have higher earnings growth, suggesting that dividendpayments may be evidence of confidence in earnings growth andsufficient profitability to fund future expansion.
Even though companies' rewards shareholder for the money they hadinvested in the company, the dividend has certain implications forcompanies and its balance sheet. Whatever be the dividend types (Cashor Stock) it reduces the retained earnings by the amount of thedividends. When dividend is declared, the money is written in aliability side with a heading ‘dividend payable'. This liability isadjusted when the company actually makes payment on the payments date,usually few days after the ex-dividends date.
In the case of stock dividend (bonus share) even after the amountremoved from the retained earnings is added to the paid up capital andissued new shares to shareholders at par value. The par value of eachstock does not change, however the outstanding shares is increased,retained earnings is reduced and market capitalization heaved upward.

Dividend facts you must know

You people will wonder to know that, the term "dividend" comes fromthe arithmetic operation of division: a/b=c then a is the dividend, bis the divisor, and c the quotient.
Confused, aah yes!
Now let's set out the literal meaning of dividend in relation toequity market, "money for nothing" (great) everyone wish for the same.Wait!!! Dividend is not for everyone, but to those shareholders whoowes certain portion of shares in the company.
Dividend is the distribution of earnings from the company to itsshareholders for the percentage of money they have invested. It isreward from companies with jolly heart saying"Thank you guys forinvesting with me".
For example, if your uncle paddy owns 100 shares worth market priceRs. 500 each, he has Rs. 50000 worth of value in the stock. Companydecided to thank your uncle with certain cash rewards and provided 20percent cash dividends. Wow, its great 20% of Rs. 50000, equals to Rs.10000. Just a minute, 20% not of Rs. 50000 but 20 percent of facevalue from every stock.
That meant, every companies issued their shares to investors atcertain face value, such as Rs. 10, Rs. 100 (Most of the Nepalese companies have face value of Rs. 100). Now if the face value is Rs.100 of the scrip uncle paddy owes, he will receive Rs. 2000 (20percent of 100*100).
Dividends are in two forms: cash dividend and stock dividend. Behappy, if you are the shareholders of the dividend distributingcompany, you get it without any payment burden in your head. Dividendsseem great for shareholders, but are dividends good for company?Since, companies can use the earnings for re-investing and step theirhands ahead of competitors rather than giving dividends toshareholders. But, on the other side of the fence, there areshareholders who simply get interested in getting "free money" fromthe company for holding shares in hands even for long periods of time.Therefore, companies decided to attract general shareholders asking toinvest in their companies' shares because they endow with attractivedividends. It's just the better way to make shareholders cheerful andretain them with valuable optimism.
Cash dividends refer, giving shareholders the cash amount increasingtheir pocket size or adding their bank balance. Such dividends are aform of investment income and are usually taxable to the recipients inthe year they are paid. This is the most common method of sharingcorporate profits with shareholders of the company. At present,Citizens bank International decided to give 10% cash dividends; Nabilproposed 35 % cash dividends, Standard chartered 50%, Nepal InvestmentBank 20% and Unilever declared 450 percent cash dividends from theprofit fiscal year 2065/66.
However, stock dividends is the dividend given to shareholders thenumber of shares vis-à-vis to the shares they owned. Let's say, unclepaddy has 100 shares and company decided to provide 50 % stockdividend then your uncle will be entitled with 50 extra shares, now heholds total of 150 shares. Isn't that great? the portfolio surgedwithout any further investment. Currently at Nepalese market StandardChartered, Nabil bank both decided to provide 50 percent stockdividend from the profit of fiscal year 2065/66.
These sounds cool and interesting, however the dates of dividendshave implication to shareholders. Who will receive dividends decidesthe date of dividends:
Very first, dividends must be approved by a company's BOD every timethey are paid on consent of regularity body (NRB in case of FIs).There are basically four important dates to remember regardingdividends.
Declaration date: The BOD meeting propose to provide dividends toshareholders but need to be further approved by NRB and company'sAnnual General Meeting.
In-Dividend date: It is the last day before the book closing timeexpires. It meant, if uncle Pady bought on the day, company is liableto pay him dividends they declared. After this date the stock becomes ex dividends.
Ex-Dividend date: The day after the book closure, where all sharesbought and sold no longer come attached with the right to be paid themost recently declared dividends. It is relatively common for astock's price to decrease on the ex-dividends date by an amountroughly equal to the dividend paid.
Payment date: The day when the dividends is exactly paid toshareholders. The payment is adjusted in the balance sheet of thecompany.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

DEVELOPMENT OF TOURISM IN NEPAL

There is no proper historical data when tourism was stared to our country. However, can say tourism in Nepal is said to be initiated during the Goops. The first declaration dynasty in Nepal. Instigate impressed by Nepal's arts and architecture, many famous people in Nepal during the ruling period of Lichhivis, Mall as and Ranas, but practically tourisms in Nepal was initiated after the revolution of 1951. The people were liberated and the gates of Nepal were opened still wider for all the foreign visitors.

Nepal has India in three side and china in the north, coming Nepal by land requires one to pass through India or china. The entry points to Nepal from India are Kakkarbihitta, Birjung, Belhiya, Bhairawa, Nepalijung, Dhangadi and mahendranagar. The Kodari pass in Nepal from china. Tourists entering the kingdom by land most passes an internal carnet. After revolution, Nepal is attracting point for tour and traveling, Nepal is landlocked country so that mostly tourists are used aero plane. For this purpose there are so many Airlines are serving the tourists like wise. Nepal Airlines (RA) is the national flag carrion with flight connection to Delhi, Mumbai in India, Bangkok in Thailand, Osaka in Japan, Hong Kong, Sanghai in china, Kula Lumpur in Malaysia, Dubai in United Arab Emirates and Singapore. the other international airlines connecting Katmandu to other part of the world are Biman Bangladesh to Dacca in Bangladesh, china airlines to Lash in Tibetan autonomous region of China, Drunk air to pass in Bhutan and New Delhi in India, Guff air to Abu Dhabi in United Arab Emirates, Indian airlines to Delhi in India, Quatal Airlines, Thai airlines, Sahara airlines, Pakistan airlines etc.

Tourism is the part was limited to those who could travel could travel foot or trek, in the face of great natural hazards. Because of lack of facilities such as road, communication network and crude means of transport. The development of arts, Architecture, culture, religion and natural beauty drew the attention of foreign travelers, mostly scholars and people with missionary zeal. At present, Nepal has every category of accommodation facilities that range from the international standards hotels, budget hotels, lodges, travel agencies, licensed tour guide, trekking agencies are providing standards services. Even in remote part of Nepal, the coming of tourists over the year has led to the local population paying attention to tourists facilities, hence making accommodation and meals for tourists more easily available then before.Ministry of culture, Tourism and Civil Aviation is developing tourism by government sector. NATA (Nepal Association of travel Agents), HAN (Hotel Association of Nepal), Nepal Maintaining Association and Tourism board are played vital role to development of tourism from its initial stage to present stage. In the present contest the government and private sectors jointly trying to develop the infrastructure for the tourism development. Many international chain of hotels were entered and organized different tourism promotional activities such as 'Visit Nepal 1998''Deatination Nepal Campaign 2002-2003' Sales Marketing Trade Faire Marketing, Sales Mission additional different festivals were organized, which represent "Nepal as of its own".

Now Nepal is going the celebrating the Nepal Tourism Year 2011 with the slogan "Nepal once not enough"

Womens Age

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild .

Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful !!!!!!!!!

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.

After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Req. :- Please don't take it serious this is only for fun

Monday, September 7, 2009

Tit For Tat...!!!

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile

Maid Servant : So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Java Interview attended by our Banta Singh

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more


Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee


Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.


Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.


Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.


Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate.


Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.


Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.


Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.


Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.


Q. What is JINI?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.


Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.


Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.


Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.

Working Capital Management

The management of the funds of business can be described as financial management. Financial management is mainly concerned with two aspects. Firstly, fixed assets and fixed liabilities, in other words, long term investment and sources of funds, secondly, current uses and sources of funds. Both of these types of funds play a vital role in business finance. Normally the finance function can be divided in three decision activities i.e. Investment decision, Financing decision, Dividend policy decision. But the must important decision for business is investment decision it include the long term assets management and short term assets management i.e. working capital management.

In the words of K.V. Smith, The term working capital management is closely related with short term financing and it is concerned with collection and allocation of resources. Working capital management is related to the problems that arise in attempting to manage the current assets, the current liabilities and the interrelationships that exist between them. (Smith, 1974:5)

Working capital refers to the resources of the firm that are used to conduct operations of day-to-day work that makes the business successful. Without cash, bills cannot be paid, without receivable the firm can not allow timing different between delivering goods to services and collecting the money to pay for them, without inventories the firm cannot engage in production nor can it stock goods to provide immediate deliveries. As a result of the critical nature of current assets the management of working capital is one of the most important areas in determining whether a firm will be successful. The term working capital refers to the current assets of the firm's those items that can be converted into cash with in the year. Net working capital is defined as the difference between current assets and current liabilities. (Hamption & Wagner, 1989:3-4)

The goal of working capital management is to support the long-term operation and financial goals of the business. In effect, this involves recognizing the relationship between risk and return. Three elements must of included in analysing the trade off between risk and return when managing working capital. (I) Insolvency: This condition occurs when a firm can no longer pay its bills and must default on obligations and possibility declares bankruptcy. A firm without adequate level of working capital may have to face this risk. (II) Profitability of Assets: Different level of current assets will have varied effects on profits. A high level of inventory will require high carrying cost. At the same time, the firm will have a wide range of goods to sell and may be able to generate higher sales and profit. Each decision on the level of cash, receivables and inventory should consider the effects to different level. (III) Cost of financing: When interest rates are high, its costs more to carry inventory then when rates are low. Large Cash balances may not earn the return that is possible if the cash is converted into operating assets. The Cost of debt and the opportunity costs of alternative investments are items to consider when evaluating working capital level. (Hamption & Wanger, 1989:10)

According to I.M. Panday, there are two concepts of working capital gross concept and net concept. The gross working capital, simply called as working capital, refers to the firms’ investment in current assets. Current assets are the assets which can be converted into cash within accounting year (or operating cycle) and include cash, short-term securities, debtors, bill receivable and stocks. The term net working capital refers to the difference between current assets and current liabilities. Current liabilities are those claims of outsiders, which are expected to mature for payment within an accounting year and include creditors, bills payable and outstanding expenses. Net working capital can be positive or negative. A positive net working capital will arise when current assets exceed current liabilities and a negative net working capital occurs when current liabilities are in excess of current assets. He also added that net working capital concept also covers the question of judicious mix of long-term and short term funds for financing current assets. (Pandey, 1992:796-797)

By analysing the above concept about working capital, we concluded that, all the corporations, whether public or private, manufacturing or non-manufacturing have just adequate working capital to serve in competitive market. It is because excessive or inadequate working capital is dangerous from the firm's point of view. Excessive investment on working capital affects a firm's profitability just as idle investment, yields nothing. In the same way, inadequate investment on working capital affects the liquidity position of the company and leads to financial embarrassment and failure of the company.
It is therefore, a recognized fact that any mistake made in management of working capital can lead to adverse effects in business and reduces the liquidity, turnover and profitability and increases the cost of financing of the enterprises.

Commercial Bank

It is difficult to give concise and accurate definition of bank. It is so because a modern bank renders various functions. It is difficult to include all these functions in a single and concise definition. Even though, it can be said that a bank is an institution whose business is to trade in money. Trading in money relates to activities such as taking deposit, granting loans, discounting bills, issuing cheque to be drawn upon itself and other various functions on behalf of customers. Any institution will be known as bank if it renders all or some of these functions. It is quite impossible to discharge all these functions by a single bank. So they specialize in certain set of functions. Banks are classified on the basis of their functions, which are as follows;
1. Central Bank
2. Commercial Bank
3. Agriculture Bank
4. Industrial Bank
5. Exchange Bank
6. Saving Bank etc.
American Institute of Banking defines commercial bank, as "Commercial Bank is a corporation which accepts demand deposits subject to cheques and makes short term loans to business enterprises, regardless of the scope of its other services". The institution also laid down the four functions of commercial bank as receiving and handling deposits (Deposit Function), handling payments of money (Payment Function), making loans and investments (Loan Function) and creating money by extension of credit (Money Function). (American Institute of Banking, 1972:345)

In today's concern the operating function of the commercial banks are, (a) to collect working capital (b) to utilize the working capital in various purposes (c) by utilizing the working capital, it earns profit and (d) part of the profit is distributed as dividend and part of the profit is retained for the expansion of banking transactions.(Garg, 1977:271)

Commercial Bank Act, 2031 B.S. of Nepal has defined it as a commercial bank is one which exchanges money, deposits money, accepts deposits, grants loans and performs commercial banking functions and which is not a bank meant for co-operative agriculture, industries or for such specific purpose. The Commercial Bank Act 2031 also pointed the functions of commercial banks commercial banks provide short term debts necessary for trade and commerce. They take deposits from the public and grants loans in different forms. They purchase and discount bills of exchange, promissory note, and exchange foreign currency. They discharge various functions on behalf of their customers provided that they are paid for their services.

Objectives of Joint Venture Banks

Joint venture banks were established to invite foreign investment and modern technology to provide financial services to the target market in the kingdom of Nepal. Government policy of economic liberation has opened its door to private foreign investment in conjunction with Nepalese investors. This has intensified the competition, which has ultimately affected the profitability of the banks. Hence to become successful in this competitive environment, all banks are moving ahead with some specific objectives, which can be summarized as below:

- To become the most preferred supplier of financial services to the target market and to become noted for their professionalism of its staff and management.

- To gain their position as the leading bank in the provision of their financial performance.

- To be identified as a good corporate citizen.

- To be recognized for the quality and the stability of their earning.

- To be able to provide stable and consistent return to their shareholders.

In order to achieve the above mentioned objectives, the JVBs should concentrate in their thrust areas, viz; corporate banking, retail and private banking, Investment banking credit cards and technology and at the same time they must maintain their asset quality by keeping intact their lending standards.

Joint Venture Banks

A joint venture is an association of two or more persons or parties, having mutual advantage in specific operations and is undertaken to make the operation highly remunerative with their collective efforts.

Joint Venture Banks are financial intermediaries, financing deficit units with money deposited with them by surplus units. The financial system or the banking industry in precise is a complex network embracing payments mechanism and the borrowing and lending of funds. Though they have other important functions, the key role played by these banks in the system is to act as financial intermediaries channelling funds from those with excess income to those wishing to borrow.(Wright & Valentine, 1997:29)

A Joint Venture Bank is the joining of forces between two or more enterprises for the purpose of carrying out specific operation (industrial or commercial investment), production or trade.(Gupta, 1984:15)

Evolution of Banking Sector in Nepal

Banking service is the oldest service industry in Nepal. It has gone through the various stages of evolution and development since the Vedic times (200 to 1400 B.C.) Though the modern banking institution has a very recent origin in Nepal, some crude bank operations were in practice even in the ancient time In the Nepalese Chronicle, it was recorded that the new era known as Nepal Sambat was introduced by Shankhadhar, a sudra merchant of Kantipur in 879 or 880 A.D; after having paid all the outstanding debts in the country. This shows the basis of money lending practice in ancient Nepal. Towards the end of 8th century, Gunkam Dev had borrowed money to rebuild the Kathmandu Valley. In 11th century, during Malla regime there was an evidence of professional moneylenders and bankers. It is further believed that money-lending business, particularly for financing the foreign trade with Tibet, became quite popular during regime of Mallas. However, in the absence of any regulatory measures, the unscrupulous moneylenders were known to have charged exorbitant rates of interest and other extra dues on loans advanced.

These inconveniences led the Prime Minister Ranodeep (1877-1885) to establish Tejarath Addaha in Kathmandu, which was a government financial institution supplying credit to the people at 5% rate of interest against security of gold, silver and ornaments. The government servants were also entitled to take loans from Tejarath, repayable from their salary at the source. During the time of Chandra Shamsher (1901-1929), credit facilities of Tejarath were extended to some other parts of the country by opening its branches. It is believed that the so-called well-to-do persons used to take loans from private money lenders even at a higher rate of interest than those from the government institution, for they were not prepared to disclose in public anything that was likely to affect their prestige. When they were approached by this type of clients, the professional money lenders used to raise loans in their own names from Tejarath at 5% rate of interest against gold and ornaments, which were not their own but brought to them by their clients as security for the loans to be financed from the funds raised from Tejarath itself. Thus, without any resources of their own and without any risks on their own part, the money lenders could manage very well to exploit their special type of clients just playing the role of middleman between their clients and the government institution. To control spurious rates of interest and also to curb unfair practice on the part of the unscrupulous moneylenders, legislative measures were also taken.

Later, with the growing necessity of the commercial banks in the world, Nepal Bank Limited, the first commercial bank of Nepal, came into being in 1937 A.D. replacing the older system of banking. In the present scenario different types of banks are being practiced in Nepal, but among them commercial banks play a vital role in the economic development of the country.

As mentioned above, with the motive to develop the trade and industry in the country commercial bank called Nepal Bank Limited was established in 1937 A.D. It was established under the Nepal Bank Act of 1936 A.D. and the late King Tribhuvan Bir Bikram Shah Dev inaugurated this bank. At that time the authorized capital of Nepal Bank Limited (NBL) was Rs. 10 millions, divided into 1,00,000 shares of Rs. 100.00 each. Nepal Bank Limited had a responsibility of attracting people towards banking sector from predominant sahu-mahajan's transaction and introducing other banking services as well. Being a commercial bank, it was natural that Nepal Bank Limited paid more attention to profit generating business. But it is the duty of the government to look into the neglected sectors. Therefore Nepal Bank Limited was established with 51% ownership of His Majesty Government (HMG) (Now Nepal Government) and 49% of the equity participation from private sector. With the development of banking sector and to help the government, formulate monetary policies, Nepal Rastra Bank was set up in 1956 A.D. (14th Baisakh 2013 B.S), the central bank of the country. Since then it has contributed to the growth of financial sector.

The growth and development of the country is possible only when competitive banking services reach each and every corner of the country. However, as the central bank, Nepal Rastra Bank had its own limitations and as a commercial bank it was not logical for Nepal Bank Limited to go to unprofitable sectors. So, to catch up with these problems, the government established Rastriya Banijaya Bank is 2022 B.S. (1965 A.D), under Banijya Bank Act 1965 A.D. as a fully state owned commercial bank (Dahal, 2002:11). Then the establishment of Nepal Industrial Development Corporation, Employee Provided Fund, Agriculture Development Bank etc, followed the formation of financial institutions.

With the aim to provide quality-banking service, enhance the efficiency and healthy competition, foreign investment and new technology in banking sector was introduced. Nepal Arab Bank, the first joint venture bank of Nepal was established in 1984 A.D. (2041 B.S). The bank was the outcome of joint venture with Dubai Bank Limited of United Arab Emirates. The footstep of this bank was followed by Nepal Indosuez Bank a joint venture bank with a Bank of Paris in 1986 A.D. (2041 B.S) and later other joint venture banks are established in Nepal.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Major Rules and Regulations Relating to Letter to Credit (L/C) in Nepal

Following arrangement have been effected to the existing L/C operation of commercial banks.

-Commercial banks are not allowed to make L/C payment and conduct any other L/C related activities on the basis of transport document issued to the importers by the transporters before the opening date of L/C or the date of revision made in the L/C amount.

-Commercial banks are required to send details of L/C documents separately to foreign exchange Dept. of NRB on a monthly basis for transport document received after 45 days of its issuance.

-In case of custom duty payable on imported goods is less then 10% deposits held at the NRB, commercial banks are required to pay necessary amount by cheque for the customs clearance and rest of the deposits be kept as margin. In case of L/C opened by the industries themselves government securities and NRB bonds are made eligible for their placing as deposits if acceptable to the commercial banks.

-While commercial banks return deposit amount to the importers after receiving the foreign exchange control (F.E.C) form no. 4 form the customs receipt after attesting it on the basis of the original copy.

-One copy of F.E.C. form no. 3 to be submitted to the NRB by the commercial bank are required to sent also to the particular customs point mentioned in the L/C.

-In order to bring uniformity in the F.E.C. form No. 4 issued by the commercial banks and need to be verified by the customs office, commercial banks are required to use such from prated in the security pager with in three months period of the issuance of the circular. Nepal Banker's association is to coordinate this task.

-Importers are required to deal through the bank account of the related firm or company held at commercial bank while operating L/C related transactions with those banks. Bank officials are required to verify and certify the signatures of the authorized person of the firm or company at his/her presence at the time of opening the account in the name of the firm or company.

-Copies of necessary document required for opening L/C should be verified in every fiscal year by the bank officials on the basis of their original copies.

-Copies of the following document required for opening L/C should be verified in very fiscal year by the bank officials on the basis of their original Copy;
a. Renewed firm registration or company registration certificate.
b. Renewed income tax registration certificate.
c. Citizenship of the authorized person.

-When the firm of company dealing with the L/C transaction in the bank ought to delegate authority to any body for such deals, the authorized proprietor, director or the executive director should personally attend and sign the agreement. Such attested copies of the actual identification or citizenship certificate should be provided to the bank. But in the case of government owned corporation or public ltd. company only the authority paper given by the authorized person would sufficient and might not attract above provision.

- While delegating the authority as per the rule of above clause, the letter of commitment for sharing the whole responsibility of the activities of the person receiving authority should be obtained from the person granting granting authority.

-Along with the L/C application, a written commitment should be obtained from the individual, firm or company giving guarantee and made responsible of misuse of foreign exchange and revenue leakage caused by not importing the particular goods maintained in the L/C opened on the basis of the guarantee.

-Commercial bank are required to submit all the detailed list of documents of L/C opened with cash margin of 50% or more to the NRB with 7 day after end of the month.

-Imports or payments for imports from India though for the third country is prohibited.

-To verify the validity of the F.E.C. form no. 4 issued by them; the bank must provide the sample of the latest signatures of banks officials to the custom office.

-While certifying the F.E.C. firm no. 4 and other documents, the bank officials should use the name and signatures as placed in the samples.

-While dispatching the F.E.C. from no. 4 to the concerned customs office commercial banks should also send to attested copies of the following documents:
a. Copy of the L/C (including the amendment )
b. Commercial invoice
c. Transport document
d. Certificate of origin
e. Packing list

-Similarly, attested copies of the related document for the imports from India, payable in convertible currencies should be sent to the customs office.

-Goods imported from India thought L/C payment in convertible currencies all allowed to be released from the customs office only when the F.E.C. form no.4 is submitted on the other hand, goods imported from India though L/C payable in Indian currency are allowed to be released only when the transport document endorsed by the concerned banks is submitted. But, in the case of imports under bonded warehouse, goods imported through the L/C payable in Indian currency are allowed to be relaxed even if transport documents endorsed by the concerned bank is not submitted.

-The procedures to be followed while issuing and returning the F.EC. form no.4
a. sealed mark is used in every transfer for the documents between the banks and custom office.
b. While banks issue the F.E.C. form no. 4 separate files for different customs points are maintained and the serial numbers be arranged from the series of these files.
c. For verifying and dispatching the F.E.C. form no. 4 every customs office should maintain the serial number accordingly.
d. Customs office are required to send a copy of the records thus maintained according to the provision of above clause 'c' to the concerned bank branched every fortnightly.
e. Bank should compare and verify the records (the serial no and account) maintained by itself, if these records are found not matching, the bank should inform the NRB promptly.

- Commercial banks should issue F.E.C. form no. 4 only whole amount equivalent to the price of the imported goods if they are to issue F.E.C. form no. 4 on the basis of the copy documents. Similarly banks are allowed to issue payment orders for the exports only on the basis of the authorized documents received from the bank of the exporters. In case of Sanest bills this restriction is not applicable.
-Opening L/C with red clause is prohibited.
-Certified of origin for the imported goods should be issued from the authorized offices such as chamber of commerce, Government office. In importer consent certificate of origin issued by exporter is also accepted.

-For other firm other then the companies, opening of L/C is prohibited when due obligation of the L/C payment exceeds the limit of 20 times the capital maintained in their registration certificates.

-The Performa invoice of sale contract should include;
a. Name of brand of goods and also the model number if it exists,
b. Name of producers country,
c. Harmonic code no. ,
d. Unit price,
e. Quantity,
f. total value,

-If banks are dealing L/C related transactions with firm for the first time, the banks are required to have extensive knowledge on the commercial status and experiences of the firm, its office location and credibility of its shareholders.

-Banks are required to conduct internal of their L/C transactions branches and send the audit repot to the NRB in every six months.

-Banks are required to deal only through the panel members agents constituted for releasing goods from the Indian port.

-NRB reserves the right to reserve the directive if they are obstructed.

-As the decision of NRB in 2056-57 NRB reconcile in the provision of non opening of import L/C with red clause as follows.
a. In the case of conduct internal of their L/C can be opened in the condition all expenses are paid by the balance of importers changeable foreign currency account, but whether the goods/service is imported as the payment should be compulsory monitored by the bank and if the goods/service is not imported the banks should compulsory inform to NRB.
b. In case of Indian currency's advance payment through import L/C can be opened under the current condition in rules.
Import L/C can't be opened in the poppy seed without agreement of commerce ministry;
Importers can make imports goods/services from third country without opening import L/C for maximum limit of USD50000 under Advance Payment or Draft.

For more update regarding rugulation of import facility pls visit http://fxm.nrb.org.np/fxmcirculars.php (NRB Forign Exchange Management official site).

What is Documentary Credit / Letter of Credit ?

According to banking and financial encyclopedia L/C is defined as "A letter requesting one person to make advance to a third person on the credit of a writer is a letter of credit. Those letters are general or special, they are general if directed to writer's correspondent generally, and they are special if addressed to some particular person. "L/C is introducing by international commercial organization in 1933 A.D.

Commercial L/C defined a stand instrument by which a banker for account of buyer gives formal evidence to seller of its willingness to permit him a draw on certain terms and stipulates, in legal form that all search bills will be honored is what has come to be know as commercial L/C for commercial parties to serves an important economic purpose and the meaning and mechanism get broadened further. In another word it can be said as "banks conditional undertaking of payment." from this simple five word definition, we can derive five important characteristics of L/C.

-It is an undertaking of a bank.

-It is an undertaking to make payment.

-It is an undertaking given on behalf of a person.

-It is an undertaking given to a third person (a person other then the on whose behalf it is given)

-It is conditional undertaking, payment being subject to compliance with certain condition.

In typical international trade transaction good are being exchange between two commercial parties namely seller and buyer. This exchange of goods and services leads to a payment obligations are arising out of a seller contract (an obligation for supply of goods by seller to buyer on the other) and the parties to the contract are faced with complex problems attached to an international trade (like compliance with trade and regulation etc.), the terms and condition assumed lot importance. In order to overcome the situation of mutual but opposite interest, they look forward to the service of banks, to facilitated exchanges process. Since banks undertake basically financially transaction represented by the documents, they agree to as intermediary for exchange of goods and money through their medium provided the goods and services are represented by documents of title to goods.

We can expand the definition of documentary credit as " An agreement by means of which a bank (issuing bank) acting as request of costumer (applicant), undertaking to pay a third party (beneficiary) a per determined amount by given data according to agreed to agreed stipulation and against presentation of stipulated guarantees are issued on behalf of bank's client to cover a situation of their non performance (i.e. bank agrees to make payment incase of its clients doesn't perform the acts specified in a guarantee /contract) where as documentary credit are issued on behalf of beneficiary once he surrenders the requisite document and incompliance stipulated conditions irrespective of the fact whether the client pays for such documents or not.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Symptoms, Precautions, Treatment of H1N1

Swine Flu Symptoms

Symptoms of swine flu infections can include:

* fever, which is usually high, but unlike seasonal flu, is sometimes absent
* cough
* runny nose or stuffy nose
* sore throat
* body aches
* headache
* chills
* fatigue or tiredness, which can be extreme
* diarrhea and vomiting, sometimes, but more commonly seen than with seasonal flu

Signs of a more serious swine flu infection might include pneumonia and respiratory failure.

Swine Flu High Risk Groups -

Swine flu high risk groups, people who are thought to be at risk for serious, life-threatening infections, are a little different and can include:
* pregnant women
* people with chronic medical problems, such as chronic lung disease, like asthma, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and immunosuppression
* children and adults with obesity

Precautions to keep swine flu at bay -

The deadly Swine Flu has reached the Indian shores following the global outbreak and now, claimed one life. However, Swine Flu is certainly one of those diseased where an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Here are five tips for you to keep away from the pandemic.

1. Wash your hands frequently
Use the antibacterial soaps to cleanse your hands. Wash them often, for at least 15 seconds and rinse with running water.
2. Get enough sleep
Try to get 8 hours of good sleep every night to keep your immune system in top flu-fighting shape.
3. Drink sufficient water
Drink 8 to10 glasses of water each day to flush toxins from your system and maintain good moisture and mucous production in your sinuses.
4. Boost your immune system
Keeping your body strong, nourished, and ready to fight infection is important in flu prevention. So stick with whole grains, colorful vegetables, and vitamin-rich fruits.
5. Keep informed
The government is taking necessary steps to prevent the pandemic and periodically release guidelines to keep the pandemic away. Please make sure to keep up to date on the information and act in a calm manner.

Treatment

If a person becomes sick with swine flu, antiviral drugs can make the illness milder and make the patient feel better quicker. For treatment, antiviral drugs work best if started soon after getting sick (within 2 days of symptoms). The U.S. CDC recommends the use of Tamiflu (oseltamivir) or Relenza (zanamivir) for the treatment and/or prevention of infection with swine influenza viruses; however, the majority of people infected with the virus make a full recovery without requiring medical attention or antiviral drugs.

Vaccination -

WHO does not expect the swine flu vaccine to be widely available until the end of 2009, noting that current production "yield" was only about half as much as expected and would cause timeline delays. There is also concern that countries which produce vaccines, 70 percent of which are in Europe, may delay sending swine flu vaccines to other countries as they may come under "tremendous pressure to protect their own citizens first," note some experts.

Many countries are planning full blown large scale vaccination camps by the end of the year

DO & Do Nots in H1N1

DOs:

* Wash your hands
* Avoid crowded places
* Stay more than an arm's length from persons afflicted with flu
* Get plenty of sleep
* Drink plenty of water and eat nutritious food

1. Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough orsneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it. Use disposablemasks in airports, crowded markets.

2. Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially afteryou cough or sneeze

3. Use alcohol�based hand cleaners (e.g: Germ Free)

4. Try to avoid close contact with sick people

5. Always maintain high levels of personal hygiene, especiallybefore and after food preparation and in & out of toilets.

6. While in an affected region, seek immediate medical attentionif you develop influenza�like symptoms. (High Fever, bodypain, coughing and red nose)

7. Get plenty of sleep

8. Rest and take plenty of liquids

9. Drink plenty of water and eat nutritious food.

DO NOTs:

* Shake hands or hug in greeting
* Spit in public
* Take medicines without consulting a physician

1. Touch your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way
2. Visits live animal markets, poultry and pig farms.
3. Shake hands or hug in greeting
4. Spit in public
5. Take medicines without consulting a physician
6. If you are sick, PLEASE stay at home and limit contact withothers as much as possible
7. Forget to cover your mouth and nose when you cough orsneeze
8. Neglect yourself and seek medical advice if needed

For people who are sick:
* Stay home and limit contacts with others as much as possible
* Rest and take plenty of liquids
* Cover your mouth and nose when you cough or sneeze
* Seek medical advice if needed

FAQ for Swine Flu (influenza A (H1N1))

How do people become infected with influenza A (H1N1)?

Outbreaks in humans are now occurring from human-to-human transmission. When infected people cough or sneeze, infected droplets get on their hands, drop onto surfaces, or are dispersed into the air. Another person can breathe in contaminated air, or touch infected hands or surfaces, and be exposed.

What are the signs and symptoms of infection?

Early signs of influenza A (H1N1) are flu-like, including fever, cough, headache, muscle and joint pain, sore throat and runny nose, and sometimes vomiting or diarrhoea. Like seasonal flu, swine flu may cause a worsening of underlying chronic medical conditions.

Is there any confirmation of transmission between pigs and humans at this point?

No.

How soon can someone with the flu infect someone else?

Infected people may be able to infect others beginning one day before symptoms develop and up to seven or more days after becoming sick.

What surfaces are most likely to be sources of contamination?

Germs can be spread when a person touches something that is contaminated with germs and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth. Droplets from a cough or sneeze of an infected person move through the air.

How long can viruses live outside the body?

We know that some viruses and bacteria can live two hours or longer on surfaces like cafeteria tables, doorknobs, and desks. Frequent hand washing will help you reduce the chance of getting contamination from these common surfaces.

What can I do to protect myself from getting sick?

Currently available seasonal influenza vaccine does not protect against H1N1 flu. There are everyday actions that can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like influenza. Take these everyday steps to protect your health:

Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.

Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol based hand cleaners are also effective.

Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth.. Germs spread this way.

Try to avoid close contact with people having respiratory illness.

If one gets sick with influenza, one must stay at home, away from work or school and limit contact with others to keep from infecting them. However, if one is having any respiratory distress, one should report to a nearby hospital.

What should I do to keep from getting the flu?

First and most important: wash your hands frequently. Try to stay in good general health. Get plenty of sleep, be physically active, manage your stress, drink plenty of fluids, and eat nutritious food. Avoid touching surfaces that may be contaminated with the flu virus. Avoid close contact with people having respiratory illness.

Are there medicines to treat swine flu?

Yes. Oseltamivir is the recommended anti viral drug for the treatment and/or prevention of infection with the influenza A H1N1. If you get sick, antiviral drugs can make your illness milder and make you feel better faster.
They may also prevent serious flu complications. For treatment, antiviral drugs work best if started soon after getting sick (within 2 days of symptoms). The government has adequate stock and the drug is made available to government hospitals at the time of outbreak and would be available to you free of cost. The drug is to be administered under supervision of clinicians.

What should I do if I get sick?

If you live in areas where influenza A H1N1 cases have been identified and become ill with influenza like symptoms e.g. fever, body aches, runny nose, sore throat, nausea, or vomiting or diarrhea, you may contact their health care provider, particularly if you are worried about your
symptoms.
Your health care provider will determine whether influenza testing or treatment is needed.
If you are sick, you should stay home and avoid contact with other people as much as possible to keep from spreading your illness to others. If you become ill and experience any of the following warning signs, seek emergency medical care.

In children emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

Fast breathing or trouble breathing

Bluish skin color

Not drinking enough fluids/eating food

Not waking up or not interacting

Being so irritable that the child does not want to be held

Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough
Fever with a rash

In adults, emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:

Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath

Pain or pressure in the chest or abdomen

Sudden dizziness

Confusion

Severe or persistent vomiting

Can I get influenza A H1N1 from eating or preparing pork?

No. swine influenza viruses are not spread by food. Eating properly handled and cooked pork products is safe.

COOL SMS

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

u r genius, ur mind is a master piece.It is divided into left and right.In the left part nothing is right and in right part nothing is left.

May God increase ur happiness like prices of petrol, and decrease sorrows like clothes of Bipasha Basu.

I m going to give fresh flowers 4 u and 4 ur loving thoughts and prayers to make u lighter and brighter.


What is the diff between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of u & torture is thinking of u 2 much.

If you see some one without a smile, give him urs ,cos u r among a few good people who can shine others lives by just walking with him a few miles.

9 lessons in life:
Learn 2 care, learn 2 smile, learn 2 cry, learn 2 give, learn 2 forgive, learn to share, learn to trust, learn 2 love & learn 2 SMS me DAILY...!!!

If i were to describe true love than i wud describe it as what a snowman did to a snow woman, he gave her a warm hug and they both melted in each others arms...

sum ppl say happiness is lyf. others say it's freedom. &sum say it's money... but happiness 4me is just having da opportunity 2know u!!

I have a new kodak camera
ur snap please...
don't move
steady
smile :)
ready
click
ohh ho
those who live in ones heart cant have a snap!!!

to see light,look at sun..to see love look at moon..to see beauty,look at nature..to see hope,look at future..but,to see all of this,look at the mirror....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Talk 2 me wen I’m Bored, B with me wen i’m Sad, Hug me wen i Cry, Care 4 me wen i’m Sick, Don’t ever cry 4 me wen I die! Just treasure me wen I’m ALIVE.

Please remind me 2 remind U about reminding me to send U this reminder that reminds me of reminding U that U never have to remind me 2 remember U, I ALWAYS DO!

It feels nice when some1 misses u, feels good when some1 loves u. feels better when some1's with u. But it feels the best when some1 never 4gets u.

SMILE:
S: Sets u free,
M: Makes u special,
I: Increases ur face value,
L: Lifts up ur spirits,
E: Erases all ur tensions,
So, please keep smiling.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Marriage Humor

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
__________ _________ _________ _________ ________
Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
__________ _________ _________ _________ _________
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
__________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
__________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives!
__________ _________ _________ _________
A man, who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man, who surrenders when not sure, is Wise. A man, who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.
__________ _________ _________ _________

If u r married please ignore this msg., for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
_________ ________ _________ _________ _________ _
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
________ _________ _________ _________ _
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai? Take vo Marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare.
_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ? To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead!
_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
________ _________ _________ _________ _________
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it
_____ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

How To Start Your Day With A Positive Attitude

How To Start Your Day With A Positive Attitude

1. Open a new file in your PC .

2. Name it ' Boss '

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, 'Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently? '

6. Answer calmly, 'Yes,' and press the mouse button firmly....

7. Feel better?

HAVE A NICE DAY

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

HA HA HA related saradar jee

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- "1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Question: "Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied: "No!35 Children R More than Enough!!"

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:"I Mr YOU" !!.

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr:Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key

Fun- Alcohal Symptom

1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom : The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom : The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

5. Symptom : You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. Symptom : The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

7. Symptom : Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house

FM- Suraj

Monday, August 24, 2009

DONKEY

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less

NOW --------Be a good Donkey and send it across to all the donkeys you Know.... Think like a donkey.....does this make sense....If you think 'no' than something is wrong with your senses.....You have two choices...smile and close this page, or pass this along to someone else to spread the fun. I know what I did!!
From Suraj

Sunday, August 23, 2009

What ur name means.......

What ur name means....... ... check it out !!
Instructions :
What you do is find out what each letter of your name means. Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU.
(Its
TRUE) &(Is'nt it
GRêT !!)
If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.
For Example : MARK
M - Success comes easily to you.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
R - You are a social butterfly.
K - You like to try new things.

A = You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B = You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople.
C = You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D = You have trouble trusting people.
E =You are a very exciting person.
F = Everyone loves you.
G = You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H =You are not judgmental.
I =You are always smiling and making others smile.
J =Jealously
K =You like to try new things.
L = Love is something you deeply believe in.
M = Success comes easily to you..
N = You like to work, but you always want a break.
O = You are very open-minded.
P =You are very friendly and understanding.
Q = You are a hypocrite.
R =You are a social butterfly.
S = You are very broad-minded.
T = You have an attitude, a big one..
U = You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V = You have a very good physique and looks.
W = You like your privacy..
X = You never let people tell you what to do.
Y = You cause a lot of trouble.
Z = You're always fighting with someone.

CHECK YOUR NAME MEANING AND YOU WILL FIND THAT THIS IS TRUE........ .....

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Happy Father day

Happy Father day

In Nepal today we are celebrating the Father's Day (Buba ko mukh herne din). In this special occasion i would like to say to my father
Happy Father Day .

Employee Wanted Ad Translation

Energetic Self-Starter : U will be working in commission.

Entry level Position : We will pay U the lowest wages allowed by law.

Experience Required : We do not know the first thing about any of this.

Fast Learner : U will not get any training from us.

Flexible work hours : You will frequently work long overtime hours.

Good organizational skills: U will be handling the filing.

Make an investment in U future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.

Management Trainee Position : U will be salesperson with a wide territory.

Much Client Contact : U handle the Phone or make cold calls on clients.

Must have reliable transportation: U will be required to break speed limits.

Must be able to lift 50 Pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.

Opportunity of a lifetime : U will not find a lower salary for so much work.

Planning and coordination: U book the bosses travel arrangements.

Quick problem Solver : U will work on projects months behind schedule already.

Strong communication skills: U will write tons of documentation and letters.

(Source: The Boss)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Sample of love letter from HR...

Ever wondered how a HR Personnel could write a love letter to his girlfriend??

To, Juliet
Sub: Offer of love!
Ref: Meeting in coffee shop

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am pleased to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter,failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
HR Officer

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Rules for Happy Marriage

1. Never both be angry at the same time.

2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.

4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly.

5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.

6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.

7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.

8. At least once every day say a kind or complimentary word to your life partner.

9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.

10. Remember it takes two to make a quarrel.

And Enjoy Happy Marriage

From Suraj

LIFEBOOK 2009

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants (factory)
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy
5. Make time for prayer6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2008
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day ---- and while you walk, SMILE !!

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do ; keep your limits
14. Don't take yourself so seriously ; no one else does
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime
.23. Smile and Laugh more
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:
25.. Call your family often
26. Each day give something good to others
27. Forgive everyone for everything
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day
30. What other people think of you is none of your business
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right things
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
34. GOD heals everything
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up !
37. The best is yet to come
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be HAPPY !!!!!!!

Last but not the least :

40. Do forward this to everyone you care about.

From
Dilip Somaiya

Swine flu

Dear All,

The deadly Swine Flu has reached the shores following the global outbreak and now, claimed one life. However, Swine Flu is certainly one of those diseased where an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Here are ten tips for you to keep away from the pandemic.

1. Wash your hands frequentlyUse the antibacterial soaps to cleanse your hands. Wash them often, at least 15 seconds and rinse with running water.

2. Get enough sleepTry to get 8 hours of good sleep every night to keep your immune system in top flu-fighting shape.

3. Drink sufficient waterDrink 8 to10 glasses of water each day to flush toxins from your system and maintain good moisture and mucous production in your sinuses.

4. Boost your immune systemKeeping your body strong, nourished, and ready to fight infection is important in flu prevention. So stick with whole grains, colorful vegetables, and vitamin-rich fruits.

5. Keep informedThe government is taking necessary steps to prevent the pandemic and periodically release guidelines to keep the pandemic away. Please make sure to keep up to date on the information and act in a calm manner.

6. Avoid alcoholApart from being a mood depressant, alcohol is an immune suppressant that can actually decrease your resistance to viral infections like swine flu. So stay away from alcoholic drinks so that your immune system may be strong.

7. Be physically activeModerate exercise can support the immune system by increasing circulation and oxygenating the body. For example brisk walking for 30-40 minutes 3-4 times a week will significantly perk up your immunity.

8. Keep away from sick peopleFlu virus spreads when particles dispersed into the air through a cough or sneeze reach someone else’s nose. So if you have to be around someone who is sick, try to stay a few feet away from them and especially, avoid physical contact.

9. Know when to get helpConsult your doctor if you have a cough and fever and follow their instructions, including taking medicine as prescribed.

10. Avoid crowded areasTry to avoid unnecessary trips outside.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.'

Letter of credit

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